


What Crundee Is: Love

by edythe_cullen_33



Category: Crundee
Genre: Boy x boy, Crundee - Freeform, Crundee Is Real, Gay, M/M, Smutty, YouTube, male x male, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-01-19 13:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edythe_cullen_33/pseuds/edythe_cullen_33
Summary: (This story is also on my Wattpad account, but it is two differnt stories there. Here I decided to put them together as one, instead of a series.)So, this is a fanfiction about my OTP Crundee, aka the Youtubers Ssundee and Mr. Crainer. It is mature, it has strong smut scenes, mature langauge, there are very desrciptive and strong scenes of violence, and well, yeah its a bit dirty. But isn't all about that stuff. It has fluffy and sappy parts, and the plot line is crazy and unpridictable. Hearts will break and hurt a few times reading this, but I'm sure it will be worth it to you in the end. I hope you choose to read this, and if you do, I hope you enjoy it.Ps: I call my readers my crundee fan babies, so be warned. :DLots of love, Edy/Eddie Cullen<3





	1. It's Da Over View Peeps!!

       *Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, meh crundee fan babies, yes this is a crundee fanfiction for you all! Like I said in the desricption, this is also a story on Wattpad. My Wattpad account is called EdytheCullen33 and the stories there are called what crundee should be: love, and what crundee will be: love. Thats pretty much it, I will post actual chapters later, I just had to post something right away to save this thing. 

I love yall as much as I love my wattpad fans already, and you dont exsist yet! That sez something now dont it

yeah byye


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW its slightly different that it is in wattpad but still the same stuff

**Mr. Crainer's Perspective**

I sighed, feeling empty and hopeless. I shouldn't have been feeling like that, I knew. There was only one thing left making me happy at all. Making videos with my fellow YouTuber, and best friend, Ssundee. Now, if it had been making me feel nice for the right reasons, it might have been okay. But the reasons were _not_ the ones they should have been. The reason should _not_ have been because I was in love with him. I should not have been in love with my best friend. I didn't know what to do, in that situation. He was so obviously straight, unavailable, definitely not in love with me. He had a wife and child for God's sake! 

But I couldn't see past Ian. He was so perfect to me. And after everything that happened to me, things of beauty and true kindness were rare. I knew if I could just love him in the right way, as my best friend, the way he, and everyone else, thought I did, I might not be in this mess. I would have still been unhappy overall, but I wouldn't have had the extra added despair of knowing that Ssundee would never, ever, care for me in the same way. I sighed again as a tear formed in my eye, and slowly ran down my cheek. I began to edit the video Ian and I had made earlier that day, and more began to stream down my face more rapidly.

I always marveled at how well I hid my feelings and pain from the world. I was nearly able to fool myself with my act. In my videos I seemed like a happy, cheerful, normal person. A perfectly normal, straight, man who was most definitely not in love with his main YouTube buddy. But I always knew deep inside, that I was not alright, not fully straight, and that I was very much taken away by my love for Ssundee. I knew that Ian was all that I wanted, and that he was all that I would ever want.

**Ssundee's Perspective**

I sat in the edge of my bed blankly. I was aware that I was sobbing still, but it didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered, not anymore. Oh, it had mattered greatly at first, I had fully felt the pain of every tear and choke. But now, they were just there, on the outside. 

It had been really bad, when my wife Madelyn, suddenly, out of nowhere... Left. That in itself had me heartbroken, but then it had became a thousand times worse. She had taken Colton with her. I understood that our son belonged to her as much as he did to me, but, she left with him. She took my baby away, and left me unknowing if I would ever see my ten year old angel again. And it was all because, "I spent more time on YouTube than her". _BULLSHIT!!!_ I spent my every free second with her and Colton! I made time for her every night, was almost always there in the morning to send Colton off to school. I was there for them, always! I couldn't understand why she felt like that, and I didn't really care. All that I cared about was that the love of my life and just upped and left, taking the most precious child in the world with her. I was all out destroyed without my wife and son.

I was also fully aware that I was seven hours late in uploading the video I had made with my best friend Mr. Crainer, I knew that I was two hours late in recording and starting to edit another one. But I just couldn't find it in myself to get up and do anything. Nothing seemed to draw me to it, nothing seemed to hold any importance. I knew I would have to get up and do something, anything, eventually, but I didn't know how to. I tried to think of anything to motivate me, to try to make me care.

 _Your fans?_ I thought to myself. They probably were unhappy and wondering where I was. Well, I was very unhappy and I was wondering where Maddie and Colton were.

 _They will be sad and worried about you_. I attempted again. I was sad and worried for my family, that I could no longer call mine.

 _Don't be selfish! There are millions of people who watch your videos everyday. You are the reason that people smile. If you feel bad, too bad for you. You are one person, and if you feel like crap, deal with it and make sure to keep making people happy._ I considered this thought, and sighed. It was right. But I still couldn't bring myself to get up and go to my office. I was still crying, still a mess. I will start living again... I just need a little extra push...

But for the moment, I was perfectly alright with sitting there in my misery. I wasn't ready yet. I didn't want to do anything but cry and cry and cry. 

But apparently the universe had other plans for me. 

_RING RING!!_ My phone suddenly sounded from across the room, on my bedroom desk. I stared at it in disbelief for a moment, but then numbly got up and crossed the room. I picked up my phone and looked at it. It was from Crainer, requesting a Skype call.   
_Great, you got him all worried about you, idiot._ I thought. I didn't want him to worry about me. He surely had more important things to do. I rubbed the tears out of my eyes the best I could and answered.

**Mr. Crainer's Perspective**

For a moment I was afraid that Ian wasn't going to answer. I was very worried about him. He was almost never even a half hour late in uploading anything, and it had been over seven hours! He also hadn't appeared online even once, and it was past the time he was usually on to record. What if something happened to him? Was he hurt?  
I was startled by his appearance when he suddenly answered. His long brown hair was loose, not in its normal neat, tight, ponytail. His sky blue eyes were wild, and his smooth cheeks were tear stained.

"Ian, what's wrong?" I asked, with my always fake note of being alright myself. 

"Nothing..." He muttered in a broken and raspy voice, glancing down. I could see right then that something very, very, bad had happened to Ssundee.

"Hey, it's alright Ian... Don't lie to me, I'm here for you." I told him, very truth fully. No matter what he needed, I would give it to him. Somebody good and kind like Ssundee didn't deserve to be going through the kind of pain Ian was going through right then.  
"I'm not lying..." Ian attempted again, yet as he did, his beautiful blue eyes watered and a tear fell. Ssundee didn't seem to notice.

"Yes you are Ian... Don't worry, no matter what's wrong, I will be here." Ssundee began to tremble a little and my heart ached for him. What had happened to him? Where was his wife? Why wasn't she helping him? I didn't like the woman, but damn, that was something she should have been doing. 

"Whether I tell you or not doesn't change anything, I'll only just get some sympathy and what good is that hmm? Ben it doesn't help anything at all." Ian snapped at me. I both finched and flushed at the same time. Ssundee almost never snapped at anyone, and it was rare for him to call me by my real name. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be pushy..." I murmured. "If you don't want to talk about it you don't have too." I hoped that I hadn't made him feel worse. 

I watched my phone screen as Ian sighed on the screen, still seeming not to notice that huge tears were welling in his eyes and running down his cheeks.

"No... I'm sorry Ben. I didn't mean to snap at you. Its just..." Ssundee took in a very shaky breath. "Madelyn left."

"Left?" I asked my eyebrows screwing up. I didn't understand. What did he mean she left?

Ian started shaking harder. "Madelyn left me today. Told me that she was done with me. And then she... She..." Ssundee burst into all out tears and began sobbing. The sight on my phone screen was heart wrenching.

"She what?" I asked him as gently as I could.

"She, she... She took... She took Colton!! She took my baby away!!" Ian wailed. Rather than being smug that she was gone and out of they way, I was angry with her. How could she do that to him?? He so obviously loved her, and their son! 

"Oh... Ian... I'm so sorry... I... Well I'm here for you..." I told him, struggling to try to find the right words for him. Ssundee didn't seem to hear me.

"I feel so alone..." He whispered. I longed to reach through the phone and hold him, comfort him. I wanted to brush his tangled hair out of his face and cup his soft cheek in my hand. 

"Ian if you ever need anything... Just tell me. I'm happy to give you anything you need." I said, completely honest again.

"Ben I'm scared..." He said. 

"Hey... Its alright..." I replied.

"But... I'm afraid of being alone!" 

"You aren't alone Ian, I'm right here." I reminded him.

"Yeah, across the Atlantic Ocean." He said, his eyes bleak.

"Well... There's not much I can do about that..." I said sadly.

"Yeah there is." Ssundee said abruptly, his tears stopped.

"Really?" I asked, curious. "What is it?"

"Come to America for a few weeks, stay with me." He said. I blinked, surprised. I had not expected that. 

"Okay." I said without thinking, accepting because he asked for it. For a moment, Ian seemed surprised, like he hadn't expected me to accept, but smoothed his face out.

"Okay." He said back. "I'll pay for your plane tickets. Can you have all your stuff packed by Two o' Clock tomorrow, your time?" 

"Yeah..." I said.

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow." He said, and then hung up.  
It was a few moments later that it fully set into me what was happening. I was going to see him in person for the first time. I was going to be in his house. I was going to meet Ian. 

I packed, or more really stuffed all my clothes in a suitcase and all my recording equipment in another. I stuffed in my laptop as well because I obviously couldn't bring my entire computer set.  
I also went onto my phone and created an emergency playlist for the flight. I wasn't going to tell anyone this ever, but flying kinda freaked me out, so I needed good music to distract me.

_Payphone- Maroon 5_   
_She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5_   
_Lovely- Twenty One Pilots_   
_Glowing Eyes- Twenty One Pilots_   
_Immortals- Fall Out Boy_   
_Love Somebody- Maroon 5_   
_Centuries- Fall Out Boy_   
_Lost Stars- Adam Levine_   
_Thousand Years- Christina Perry_   
_You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift_   
_Misery- Maroon 5_   
_Stressed Out- Twenty One Pilots_   
_Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5_   
_Cancer- Twenty One Pilots_

After finishing everything, I later in bed for a while. When sleep finally came, I sank into it, dreaming of a world where Ian loved me and where my life had actually been a pleasant one.


	3. Two

**Ssundee's Perspective**

 

I sighed as I waited for Crainer's flight to land. I realized that what I had said was very sudden, demanding, and strange. I didn't feel much better yet, not at all, and now I had gone and gotten myself stuck in a busy airport. I wasn't exactly sure why I had suddenly decided to ask Benjamin to come stay with me for a while, but I was angry with myself. I wasn't ready to be around anyone, but apparently Crainer was going to be around me non stop for at least a week, and at the moment I was surrounded by people on every side, struggling to keep my composure. I had also inconvenienced him greatly, and it wasn't going to help anything whatsoever. To sum it up, I was pissed with myself and very impatient to be out of public.

  
There was suddenly a tap on my shoulder accompanied by Benjamin saying, "Hey... Guess who." He didn't sound excited or enthusiastic, and I kicked myself again for being such an annoyance.

  
"Hmm... Kanye West? Crainer is it Kanye West?" I asked dryly. I wanted to be enjoyable due to the fact that he was pretty much forced to America for a while, but I couldn't seem to bring any happy emotions to my voice.

  
Benjamin laughed a little. "Yeah, it was Kanye. But he ran away before he could say hi." I nodded slightly and turned around. There was a moment of awkwardness in seeing him there. We had never seen each other in person before, it was kind of surreal. His eyes were a lot greener, sort of like emeralds, and his face was a lot skinnier, gaunt. He unexpectedly grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. For a second, I just stood there, but after a moment hugged him back. His arms were warm, and it was comforting.

  
"How are you buddy?" He asked quietly after pulling away. I began leading him out side to where my car was before answering.

  
"To be honest... I don't feel alive..." I murmured to him, as we reached the parking lot. I noticed that Ben had two suit cases, and I pulled one away from him.  
"Hey you don't have to get that for me..." He protested for a moment. "Ian, I'm really sorry. I don't understand why she would do that, you were such a great husband and father." I looked away. Great. I was making someone else miserable with my pain.

  
"Yeah." I muttered and pulled out my car keys. I opened the trunk and put his suit case in, then tugged the other away from him and set it in as well. He frowned, as though he didn't like me doing that.  
"What?" I asked, gesturing towards his frown. I instantly regretted snapping at him, but didn't apologise.

  
"Oh, its nothing, don't worry about it." Crainer said, trying to sooth me. I shrugged and got into the drivers seat. I watched as Benjamin walked around the car and got into the passengers side. I watched him for a moment. When he was in and buckled, he looked back at me.

  
He smiled, and in that moment it was a thing of beauty. The way his smooth lips presented his straight white teeth was just right. To be honest, his whole face was perfect in that moment. His green eyes glimmering, his face smooth and flawless. I didn't question the moment. Nobody could deny that Benjamin was an attractive man, and it was normal for me to find him perfect, he was my best friend after all. The moment passed, and he was just Crainer again. I turned towards the front and began the drive back to my house.

 

 **Mr.** **Crainer's Perspective**

 

I shook a little as we were arriving. I was of course very happy being there with Ian in person, I was in awe, Ssundee was almost a hundred times more handsome in person, and his voice was so much more clear. But I was scared. Was I making Ian unhappy? What if I made him worse? What if... What if I accidentally let it slip that I loved him? Oh, that would definitely make everything worse for us both.

  
Ssundee's house was big, so was his yard. It was very sunny, and I could see the reflection of a pool peaking out of the back of his house. It was hot, as well as sunny, so it was a relief to walk into Ian's cool, air conditioned, house after getting my suit cases from the trunk. He let me carry my own things that time, and for that I was greatful.

  
Inside was cheerful and open. Ian kicked off his shoes next to the door, and I did the same. It led into a large living room with multiple couches centered around a huge flat screen TV. We passed by the living room and Ssundee kept walking until we reached the edge of a staircase.

  
"Just leave your stuff there, we can bring it upstairs later." Ian said, not seeming to care whether I responded or not. I nodded and carefully set down my items.

  
"So. This is my home. It's great, right? No, things will probably get boring fast for you." I sighed slightly. This was so hard for Ssundee... He had never been so angry, unhappy, and dull about everything before.

  
"Nah, it won't be boring Ian. You're here, I'm somewhere new. I'm sure we can figure out fun things to do..." I said, hoping to make him feel a little better. But Ssundee's mouth tightened.

  
"Sure. Fun. Because its totally like I want to go and just party the day after I lose the only two people in the world that matter." He growled. I took a half step back. _The only two_ _people in the world that matter._ My heart filled with pain for a moment, along with guilt. I had only been there five minutes and already I was making him feel worse!

  
"Oh! I'm sorry!" I apologised. "I didn't mean to... To upset you." I flushed and my voice cracked. I looked away. "If I upset you too bad I can get a motel room until I can use my other plane ticket..."

  
"No, don't do that. I'm sorry. You were just trying to suggest something. You're right. It would probably be good for me to try and enjoy myself. Let's make a video together, then do something after." He said. I nodded quickly, eager to do anything he wanted.

  
It was close to heaven making a video with him. After all, it was something I loved, and vlogging literally right next to him was perfect. Ian explained slightly what happened, but mostly emphasized the part where I was staying with him for a while. It appeared that he was close to as good at acting as I was, because he seemed just like his normal self. The difference between our skills was that I was able to hide my feelings from him, but he couldn't hide his pain from me. After we finished, Ssundee sighed unhappily and looked at me.

  
"I'm sorry for being so snippy with you Crainer." He said quietly.

  
"Its alright Ian, I understand." I told him gently.

  
"Hey, if you would like, I can bring you to my room, you can unpack your things." Ssundee said. I nodded, and picked up my stuff. I followed him up the stairs, still in shock that I was actually there, in his house. I would be able to watch him do everyday things, like eating, brushing his hair. If only I had been over there with happier circumstances...

  
"So, when your done, you can just hangout for a while I guess. You can set up your recording equipment in the guest room." I nodded again. Ssundee leaned against the wall watching me unpack for a while, but eventually pushed off and left. I sighed. I hoped desperately that I would be able to help Ian. If not get him over Madelyn, at least let him know that what happened was not his fault. He really didn't deserve this, it was unfair that the shittiest stuff happens to the best people.

  
At around 5:00, I was finished. I blew out a heavy sigh and ran my hands through my hair. I felt horridly guilty for making Ssundee feel worse, and for being selfish. Of course he would only consider his family important during a time like this. Besides, I was out in America to help Ian feel better, not try to satisfy my own sick fantasies. He was a straight man, obviously. It wasn't right for me to sit there thinking of all the ways I wanted him while he was miserably missing his wife and son.

  
After standing in Ian's room for a moment, I opened the door and began to head downstairs. As I walked into his open living room, I could not see him in there or the kitchen.

  
"Ian?" I called, worried, before glancing out the big windows in the kitchen. I could see his large pol, and him. He was sitting on the edge, with his arms supporting him from behind, his legs dangling in the water. He was wearing a pair of swimming boxers, and did not have a shirt on. I flushed a little at the sight. Seeing Ian without a shirt had been something I'd dreamed of for years. I mentally slapped myself, trying to focus on what was important. Ignoring my feelings and making damn sure that Ian got better.  
I slipped my feet into my sandals as I walked outside, and around the building to beside Ian. I stood beside him for a few minutes. I knew that he saw me, so I didn't say anything. Eventually he looked up at me, with eyes that were so dull I very nearly couldn't bear it.

  
"You can sit, you know." He said quietly. I obeyed him, and took off my shoes before lowering g my legs into the warm water. The water splashed around my legs, but didn't reach my shorts. I sat silently, unsure of what to say. Ian stared blankly into space as he began talking to me.

  
"Everything... It's all reminding me of them. Anything I do, or look at... I can't see past them at all. Sitting here at this pool, when I close my eyes, I see Colton splashing around happily with his mother and I, I see him as he plays Marco Polo with his best friend Brody. I see Madelyn laying on the lounge chairs as she reads her magazines. In my room, I see how she would smile at me. But I'm seeing more now. When I recorded, her face was more tight... Especially when with you. I made her feel ignored... I was an awful husband Crainer, it's all my fault." Ian whispered. I frowned sadly at his crestfallen expression.

  
"Ian it was not your fault. You spent plenty of time with both your wife and Colton. You and a living with something you loved, and I honestly have no clue why she did what she did. You are a perfect man, and any person to have you is very lucky." I told him truthfully. Ian's face remained tight and unhappy though.

  
"I just feel like with all my memories, I can never move on. I feel like my whole life is revolved around them. I don't know what to do..." Ian mumbled, staring down at the water. Seeing happy memories that were now gone. I saw the pain in his reflection, the pure sadness swimming in his eyes. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

  
"Ssundee, it's only been a day. It's okay that you can't stop thinking about them. They were your life for a very long time. You can't just get over that in just eighteen hours. Its okay for you to feel sad, and angry right now. If these memories are too sad for you to remember, you can make new ones with me now. I know I'm nothing compared to your family, but I do care about you. You are my best friend and I just want to see you smiling again." I told the man beside me. He looked at my face, not even seeming to notice the way I had grabbed and intertwined out fingers.

  
"Okay." He said. "I'll try to have fun with you." With that, he managed a tiny, half smirk, and shoved me into the pool with all my clothes on. I was shocked for a moment, before I reacted by yanking him in with me. Ssundee smiled at me, but I could see no true emotion behind it. His smiles and laughs were very fake, and easy to see through. It made me very sad that he couldn't even let himself enjoy just a small moment, but I wouldn't push him much harder. He was already trying his hardest to move on, even though it had only be a day. I tried to distract myself from my worries by focusing on splashing and dunking Ian, hopefully cheering him up slightly. Because even though I was in love with him, he was my best friend, and I needed to see the poor man smiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter meh crundee fan babies!! if so, leave kudos, comment, and subscribe!!
> 
> ~edythe_cullen33~


End file.
